Thursday, January 13, 2011
At last, I see...
So I welcomed my new year with many,.."life changing" experiences. Alas, theres nothing i can really do about it, just wait and see until my life decides to get just a tiny bit better. I still cant shake the fact that people still like messing with me. Just the other day, I got a message that my boyfriend was seen holding hands, and getting really close, to some girl. I, being...me, freaked out (i mean, who wouldn't?) and things got all bad. Turns out, nothing happened. Placing the pieces together started to make a bit more sense; but one can never be too sure. I wouldn't know what to think in a situation like this; i am inevitably full of utter confusion and i sort of hate it. Situations that i cannot control condemn me to fall into my ED, the only thing i can control. If only people could understand, that i don't CHOOSE to be like this; its all part of the hole "cause and effect" cycle. Also, my nightmares don't seem to stop, i keep on waking up every hour of the night and i just cant rest. The only thing that seemed to brighten up my year was when my boyfriend and mom finally settled things out. To be honest, I thought it would've resulted a bit worse,. I'm happy it didn't.
Oh, and about "Ana", i think I'm back. Goodbye doctors, i don't need you anymore,..