What an interesting month this has been, so full of mishaps and abnormalities (if I do say so myself). I must admit, my dear followers, readers, and lurkers, that I am as relaxed as I've ever been. I don't know if its the result of a day full of cramps, or just the fact that I've been some-what dancing tonight. I think that this post will be the first ever non-ED related thing I have ever written. (yay). I guess I can say that my mind is finally figuring itself out and I came to the conclusion that I am very dull. My clothes is not exciting, I dont workout anymore so my body is shitty, I'm not full of tremendous stories or anything of that sort. Shit, I don't even spend more than a couple of hours with my so-called boyfriend for more than once a week. It's as though everyone is finally figured out what they want while im still here; no movement at all. In order for me to feel like I'm worth something, I make sure my schedule is strictly full. What annoys me the most out of this, is the fact that my boyfriend complains about me being "too busy" and "not having enough time," yet, he doesn't do anything about spending time with me when i DON'T have anything to do. The only reason why I even get to see him during the weekend is the fact that I ask HIM out instead of it being the other way around. Now, I know there is nothing wrong with the girl asking the guy out but, I do it ALL THE TIME. He does nothing romantic with me, he never tries to impress me anymore, it's always so boring and irritating. Which brings me to the point of ME being dull. Maybe the fact that I'm not dressing "sexy" or "spontaneous" brings him down a bit. My style doesn't excite him and motivates him to do anything with me. Like, when we started to date, we used to get out of town and try new things; we didn't give a fuck! Now, he plays by the rules and just settles for less. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I truly think that this is my fault. But whatever, we'll see what happens. Thanks for reading.
P.S. PLEASE, keep my friend's father in your prayers (whether you believe in God or not, please wish her the best). Things have been going on, and she is the sweetest person EVER, and she doesn't deserve to feel any sort of negative emotion. Please keep her in mind, thanks
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