Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Desperate

Time and time again,..I stand at the crossroad, Where the weight of my burden Eclipses my resolve..This broken path I've chosen I walk it alone.Though I feel forgotten You've carved my name in stone,..

Well Christmas finally passed, gained. BUT, i managed to lose about 5lbs in a couple of days due to my restricting. I don't want to reveal my weight for the simple fact that; I DONT WANT TO JINX IT. I will reveal my weight once i get to my goal (hint: only 5lbs to go!). Well enough of that, I finally spent time with my boyfriend all day yesterday and i got to admit, i really did miss him. Its weird because i never think that he does. I dont know if he does this on purpose but, his "tough guy" image really prohibits me to get any emotion out of him sometimes. I mean, he is corny and he has his "gullible" moments, but theres just times where he really does make question whether he really loves me or not. I guess its just a guy thing. Either way, I decide to just drop it and try to take advantage of the times where he's mine and I know that i might be too young to be talking about "love" and I'm completely aware of that, that's why i try avoiding the subject as much as i can. Plus, i know for a fact that I'm not in love with him or anyone, that's still pretty unreachable for me. I love him, as i  really care for him, and i some-what trust him. I know for a fact that, some of the things i write in this blog are pretty unknown to him, same for the previous blog i had. I don't want to be like the girls who fall "in love" with guys in the first week they've gone out and act obsessed and stupid in front of everyone. I try too hard to avoid anything like that. I like taking my precious time..
But enough about that, I'm happy to say that I'm finally leaving this hell-town and spending the rest of my break with my best friend. Finally, i can be free in a place away from home. I cant wait! I'm also trying to avoid going to the doctor's office today, I dint want some guy to tell me how I'm doing and how I'm supposed to be doing. F*** that, i can do fine all by myself. Besides, i dont have a problem,..

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