Monday, January 24, 2011

dazed and confused

Sometimes I feel like i want to runaway.Get away from it all and just stay there,..

So its 5am and Ive been awake since 3:30am. What caused me to wake up so early? The fact that I had a nightmare regarding my boyfriend and the girl i mentioned on a previous post. So i started to wonder..If he would've ever brotten her home before? for "band practice"? I know its only been a dream but, like ive said in my previous post, he was about to hangout with her alone so i cant help but feel all,..question-y. I shall talk about it with him after school today. I cant help but to imagine what would've happened tho. As far as I know, she doesn't have the best reputation in the world. What would've happened behind closed doors, and do i really want to know? If he tells me that he did bring her home (or invited) and if he gives me some valid proof, then i shall respect him. Plus, i kinda owe him since this one guy kissed me and he forgave me since i told him that he was taking advantage of me and that i have no interest in him what-so-ever.I would respect him for trusting me enough to man up a bit. Also, he gave me his log in information for facebook, even though i insited he didn't, and after all of this, i gotta admit that I'm tempted to check his stuff in case i find anything valid. But i wont, I have to trust him with his answer and i shall accept the consequences if theres any. I want to change, but theres things like this that make me question: why should i even bother?

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