Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I honestly can never understand this emptiness. I cant help but let it take over, spreading like some sort of disease, leaving me with nothing, but why? Why do i feel like I'm still missing something? That last piece left of my puzzle is still missing and i cant help but yearn for it. Suicide is not even an option for me anymore, I don't want to leave my life without figuring out what was left. Whatever, these questions will remain unsolved for now. One thing that really has me thinking is the whole " I love you" situation with my boyfriend. Is it possible for me to love someone when i despise myself? I don't get it. I guess what I can say is that I care a bit too much for him, whatever feeling I'm getting is something unknown to me, something scary, yet beautiful at the same time. I cant help but want to search through these feelings, discover the unknown wonders of it all. I believe that I'm going crazy, and i cant help but want to escape from it all, just for a moment.